Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
