i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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