Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
