You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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