Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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