I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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