I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
