He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize