you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
