a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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