first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize