she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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