we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
try to milk me bitch
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
