My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to calm my uterus...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
