OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
