My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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