i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
