What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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