it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
