honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
