Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm bleeding and have questions
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
