Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
