why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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