I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
