i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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