I just cut my nipple shaving
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
