You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My vagina is very pro this idea
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
