Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
