He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
