Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
