I think i peed on brittanys purse
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize