; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
