i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
