You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
