Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
