hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
