Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
