Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
