C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
