Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
