How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
