i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
