that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I deserve this hangover.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
