She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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