Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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