He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have post one night stand depression
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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