Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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