Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize