I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize