i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
