If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
