im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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