My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Found your dick twin last night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
