I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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