His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
