Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
