Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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